I have to admit, I love love love a steamy make me wiggle kind of love scene.

And at the ripe old age of thirty-something…I am still tripped up by a few words.  You know the words, pussy, cunt, and even fuck.  Many times, they still stop me and cause an ick feeling.  They seem so harsh and rarely is a sex scene harsh enough to warrant those words.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind explicit scenes, yet it has to fit the parameters of the story.

A caveat may be when the sex scene is rough. Maybe they’re angry at each other or the one of the two has some hard edges and it fits their personality or the situation. Unfortunately that is rarely the case.  Most often when I’m reading otherwise wonderful books written by very talented authors those words feel almost obligatorily tossed in.  It’s like they have to meet a pre-determined kinky word count.

The trouble is…what words do you use when writing explicit sex scenes?

I’ve taken this on as a personal challenge and feel that sex scenes/love scenes are all the more poignant if you can skip the blow by blow (pun intended) he put his cock in her pussy type of choreographing and create a scene that inspire the reader’s imagination because after all, our imagination is a pretty powerful aphrodisiac.   And you can be quite explicit without endless identification.  You can taste, smell and even hear sex (it can in fact be extremely noisy if you stop to listen-  just ask your neighbors) so using the senses can create a compelling and titillating scene.  Reactions and even the occasional dialogue (Some folks do talk during sex:-)) then you stand the chance of creating the kind of reader reaction that turns pages.

It’s happened to me twice, in all the years I’ve been writing, a person has asked me to write on a topic that felt 100% wrong and today, downright offensive.  The first time I took on the job, it was early in my career and I rationalized that just because I didn’t believe in the topic didn’t mean I couldn’t write the articles.  I was wrong.  When you write on a topic you not only don’t believe in but one that goes against your beliefs and in this case my knowledge, it drains the life from you.  Not only are you unable to write quality articles but you feel downright crappy.

Now the first time this happened the articles were on some made up diet advice that the client had written about and simply wanted articles created based on his ‘theory’.

Today someone asked me to write on a wholly offensive topic related to picking up women by putting them down.  A practice he termed “negging”.  Beyond my initial shock that someone would actually ask me to write on this topic, I tend to write on fitness and personal development topics, I was offended because I am after all, a woman.  I quickly shook off the ick feeling and then sent the person a quick ‘no thank you’ message.   To my surprise they emailed back asking that we compromise.  Compromise on what?!  I said I don’t write on that topic.  I contemplated ignoring the request but in the end decided that a blunt - the topic is offensive email would end the communication.

Bluntness seems to have done the trick.  The good news is that I can now apply this horrific and disgusting practice to a character in a future novel - it’ll be a good way to characterize a jerk or a villain.

A quick update….he came back.  The bozo actually wanted to compromise again.  Compromise on what?  No means no @sshole!  I’m getting the picture that he personally picks up women by badgering them to death.  Eventually they’re too exhausted to say no.  Sounds borderline illegal to me.

It amazes me how inspiration for a story, a character or even a book title can just pop up as if out of nowhere.  Sometimes I’m driving, taking a bath, listening to music or even reading and pop inspiration tingles like those little cartoon bubbles overhead.

While watching a bit of TV today (yes I was editing at the time so it’s okay.  I was working, not fluffing off.  Actually  fluffing off sounds like I was masturbating and I wasn’t doing that either.)

Anyway…I was watching television when one character referred to their child as the blight of their life.  Struck me as a funny title for a short story so I wrote it on my never-ending list of inspiration.

This list also contains fun character names, scenarios, and more titles which have no beginning or ending, just a title.  The fun thing is actually collecting these tidbits of inspiration.  Most of them will live their lives unfulfilled, just little notes on colorful paper but some of them have found their way into stories in which case I just cross them off the list.

Grab those moments of inspiration when you have them whether they’re related to writing or life or that pot roast in your oven.  Write them and keep them in a safe place.  You never know when they’ll be useful.

It’s easy, as a writer, to let your characters take on a personality of their own.  In fact, it’s imperative.  As a reader, I enjoy ballsy women and heroes who can take their attitude and give it right back to them. In fact, one of the first romances I remember passing out to all of my friends was Linda Howard’s Mr. Perfect.  Now that was a heroine who wasn’t afraid to tell it like it is!

As a writer, I’ve found that my heroines tend to take on amplified character traits I wish I had.  They’re bold, they’re sometimes mouthy and they’re often a bit brazen with both their sexuality and their wants.  (They’re often a bit more organized than I am - wishful thinking on my part).

It’s my goal with this blog in particular to exemplify the character traits I admire in my heroines. I will do my best to tap into my saucy side as well as I’m sure, be a bit mouthy sometimes.   Please feel free to be your bold self and comment!

Thanks for visiting!